Leaving Disappointment Behind

For the past few months I’d be planning a trip to Ireland.  While I booked the trip to see a beautiful country the real reason I was going was to break my cycle of isolation.  Since Jack died I’ve rarely left my home except to go to work and the store. I figured if I pushed myself way outside of my comfort zone by traveling solo overseas it would cause me to rethink my daily life.

I wanted to make the most of this trip and I did so by joining a tour when I landed in Dublin.  For weeks I’d planned what I wanted to be sure to see while I was there. One of those places was the Cliffs of Moher, a section of the Atlantic coasts that reaches 702′ high.    The staggering height of the rock faces along with the amazing vistas were why this was one of my priority places to see.

I was excited to view these magnificent coastal landscapes. I’d even tried to book a helicopter tour to see them from a unique perspective. Unfortunately the helicopter tours were booked up a month in advance. Then day we were at the Cliffs they were obscured by deep fog and rain. There was no viewing location that even allowed for a tiny glimpse.  This was not an experience I was meant to have.

Every day up to this one had been beautiful and rain free.

I felt the disappointment settling in and then I recalled all the times Jack & I headed to the coast so he could take sunset photos. We would get there only to find the coast obscured and not what he went there for.  As I stood where the Cliffs of Moher were suppose to be I heard Jack say, “It is what it is.”

Life is filled with disappointments and this was just one of them.  I’m not sure that I’ll ever return to this enchanting country however I’m not going to live in my disappointment. That would undermine what was otherwise an amazing trip.

While I didn’t see the Cliffs of Moher this trip was life changing in the ways that I didn’t expect.  Yes, It moved me out of my comfort zone and I am not hesitant to leave my home anymore. My primary purpose was accomplished and my disappointment was put into perspective.  My life hasn’t been perfect and this trip was no different. However I’m choosing to focus on the beautiful memories and the knowledge that I did what I thought I never world or could.  Those are the blessings I’m grateful for.

With love, Cheryl

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