What Now?

Sunset WomanDo you ever sit there and wonder what the hell just happened to your life? Are you sometimes stunned by what you’ve been through even though you know it really did happen. It’s not a dream but a really bad nightmare come true?
When I first started Simple Steps I use to say I’d lost everything except my marriage. We were finally rising out of that black hole and then a year ago Jack went into hospice. He passed away on February 15th.
This week for some reason I woke up out of that year long fog and realized that he’s been gone for a year.
When we go through the worst life has to offer there comes a time when the reality of where we’ve been and where we are now sinks in. The question them becomes “What now?”
What now for you? What do you want for yourself next? I could never have imagine my life without Jack but now my life is without him and I have to decide what now for myself. Yes, it’s been a long time coming… and it may take a longer time to put my arms around this new life. However at this stage in the journey I’ve come to realize that (1) I am out of excuses for why I can’t do something (2) I want to be happy again and know Jack would want me to be and (3) all of the considerations when there were two of us no longer exist.
What have you realized and truly internalized about where you are now? It’s one thing to acknowledge where you are (and that’s a big deal)… it is however very different to take action (especially when you’re walking in foreign territory.)
I believe in Simple Steps… because when we go through this trauma in life we can’t handle much. We’re drained. But we can always do one positive thing for ourselves. Maybe it’s deciding you can smile today. Or perhaps you can have a glass of water instead of wine. For me it’s deciding to appreciate what I do have in my life at the moment. (Which is always good but tough when life hasn’t been kind.)
I thought my life was over when Jack died. But I’m still here and taking one simple step at a time… and in time those realizations I’ve had will become inspirations to heal my broken heart.
Are you ready to allow yourself to heal too? I know you can…
Much love & blessings, Cheryl

%d bloggers like this: