Are you an expert at dodging questions or issues in your life? Do you avoid people because you don’t want to deal with their opinions of you or something you did or didn’t do? Or do you just keep quiet because you don’t want to seem like you’re forcing your opinion or beliefs on someone else? We seem to play the wallflower role because we think it keeps us from having more stress in our lives… and sometimes it does. When we however hide who we are we’re creating a different kind of stress in our life… the kind that makes us feel bad about ourselves and that needs to stop!
There, I said it! This denying who we are because we don’t want to be vulnerable hurts us, individually. It also denies others the ability to be themselves. Why? Because they are surrounded by people hiding their true selves too. If that’s all we came to this life to be or do then why are we here?
For years I played the role of the tough one… I could deal with anything anyone threw at me. At work that meant that I did the jobs no one else wanted to do. And I learned to do them well. Being kind or even vulnerable was a sign of weakness and that would irk my boss. Ok, we have to play roles at certain times in our lives… but we don’t have to live our entire lives in a role that doesn’t fit us.
As I stepped away from my corporate career I could let down my tough exterior. The only problem was that all those years being tough make me ill equipped to ask for help or to be vulnerable. As one challenge after another flowed into my life I discovered that I wasn’t strong. I was lost and afraid, perhaps for the first time in my life. When I started writing it was my way of coming clean with myself. By exposing my fears & worries to the light I could deal with them.
When I started sharing what was going on in my life any pretense that I had of being strong went out the window. Perhaps that was my moment of real strength… There were no more walls or masks to hide behind. There was just me, who I am, who I came here to be. No… it hasn’t always been easy but it sure trumps maintaining a facade that kept me from being truly happy and enjoying my time here on this earth. We deserve to BLOOM in life!
What are you doing right now that is keeping you from being who you really are? Are you ready to stop hiding or at least crack the facade just a little at a time? You have nothing important to lose! Yes there may be some people who won’t appreciate the new you… but aren’t you just being the real you? Their judgments reflect who they are and have nothing to do with you. Sure you may not be ready to do a 180 degree life turn but what about shifting a little this way or that?
Making gentle changes, if that is what works for you, are Simple Steps. For example:
- Read a different type of book than what you usually do. If you really enjoy romance novels but are embarrassed to have anyone see you with one download it onto your computer. No one can see the cover and you can enjoy the story.
- Call someone who you’d think you’d like to get to know… but haven’t because they don’t fit into your immediate circle of friends. Ask them if they’d like to meet you for coffee.
- Apply for jobs at other companies where you can start fresh and be yourself.
- Wear makeup… or don’t if you’ve always thought you should or shouldn’t.
- Write your life story and tell it your way. Then, publish it. It’s easy and one of the most freeing steps I’ve ever taken.
You came to this earth to experience everything life has to offer. Isn’t it time to be who you came here to be and live out loud?
Only you can decide if you’re ready to take a Simple Step to be your authentically HAPPY self! What are you waiting for? Now is your time to be blooming beautiful!
With love, Cheryl