Add Self-Forgiveness to the New Year’s Mix

Add Foregiveness by SIMPLE STEPS

Are you just ready for 2011 to be over?  Do you want to put the past behind you and think that January 1st is the best time to start?

The end of the year is always a time of reflection.  It’s natural.  Out with the old, in with the new.  What if though this year we added something new to the mix…  forgiveness… of ourselves.  Sure you can forgive others too.  However this blog is about forgiving yourself. 

Whether it’s 2011 that you want to be over or a really bad part of your life… the end of the year is the perfect time to wish it good riddens.  Kenny taught me to write down all the bad stuff that happened and then burn it.  It’s symbolic… but as any good change management counselor will tell you… there is power the act. 

I’ve been dragging around my fair share of baggage these last few years.  With it came a boatload of self blame. What about you?  What happened in your past that you have been unable to forgive yourself for?  For me it’s a litany of financial mistakes and bad business decisions.  They are all behind me now and sure they show their ugliness every once in awhile but nothing compared to what is in my past.  What is in your past that you are still dragging around with you? 

I keep hearing the Tim McGraw song, “Let It Go.”If you haven’t heard it click on the link to see a video that depicts the song.   It’s about leaving behind our baggage. The only way that we can do that is to forgive ourselves. 

If you are ready to dump your bags and travel lighter try these Simple Steps:

  • Get clear about what you feel you need to forgive yourself for.  Perhaps you think that there is too much.  There isn’t.  Write out every perceived issue that you blame yourself for in a column marked “Issues.” 
  • Create an “Lesson” column and beside every issue write down what you have learned from it. 
  • Next add a “Now” column and write down what you do or will do differently. 

Here’s an example from my list:

Issue  Lesson Now
Invested savings on the advise of a guru. Anything having to do with my financial security is my responsibility. I can’t delegate my security to anyone.  I research and complete my due diligence before making any purchase over $500.  
  • When you’ve completed your entire list take a pair of scissors and cut out the column that says ‘issues.”  Burn it, shred it, or otherwise safely destroy it.  As you do say to yourself, “This part of my past is over and I’m done with it. I am letting it go.”
  • Now look at what remains of your list.  What is there tells you how much wiser you are now.  And now is all that matters.

It’s time to Let IT Go… and with it any feelings that you have of self-blame. You’ve learned. This is your time to shine and you can! 



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