Are You Going Through H**L?

Going Through H*!l by

Are you sitting alone thinking… absorbed in the problems of your life?  Even though you know that you aren’t the only one who may be getting divorced, going through bankruptcy or foreclosure, unemployed, or one of any other problems… do you feel like no one else understands what your life is like at this moment?

Why is it that we want to feel special when we are going through hell?  (I know, I’m sorry… I don’t usually swear but there are just times when the only way to describe what our life feels like just isn’t pretty.) I don’t know about you but I’d rather that my talents were special and my problems would just fade into the woodwork!

We get defensive or indignant when someone says something that in our hearts we know is true (maybe) but we don’t want to give them the benefit of perhaps knowing better than we do.  Here is a clue… we don’t know it all… if we did then we wouldn’t be going through this place of misery. (Oh yes, more politically correct, but so unsatisfying!)  

When you find yourself resisting every piece of advise or support that someone is trying to give you… know that you are now in a place of your choosing.  WHAT?!?  Yes… I said that.  If you think that you are the only one going through what you are going through…  where you are is a place of choice.  

No, no… I don’t mean that you chose to have your marriage destroyed, your home or security taken away or your job lost.  What I’m saying is that what you focus on is what you are going to experience more of.  So if your focus is on everything that you’ve lost… guess what… that is where you pain is coming from.  

I am going to make the assumption here that you haven’t read my free e-book.  (If you have… sorry for the repeat information.)  When I was gainfully employed with a good salary, stable company and oblivious to the world around me, I took the advice of a big time real estate guru and bought 5 rental houses out of state.  They were going to be managed by a family member and I figured that by doing all of this I’d secured my future and my retirement.  Fast forward… my company was acquired, my position eliminated and those rental houses that I bought were mismanaged. I had mortgages on every one yet the rents weren’t being paid.  I went from total security to losing it all in a matter of months.  I am still dealing with the backlash.  As long as I was focusing on everything that I had lost I kept feeling the pain, the humility, the failure of my decisions.  

In the midst of all of this I started writing Simple Steps… Real Change blogs and then creating the Facebook page.  Imagine my surprise when my “hell” resonated with so many other people.  Together we shared our stories and together we stepped forward in life.  And rather than focusing on what I’d personally lost… I focused on helping others.  It took those very difficult times of not knowing how to make ends meet… to know that it would all work out if I stayed in this much more positive place.  And what is more enlightening is knowing that I am not the only one who has gone from riches to rags and made it back to a better place.

If you are going through your own misery and find yourself resisting any attempts to help you through it… try one of these Simple Steps:

  • Start taking notes.  Write down every suggestion or offer to help that you receive.  It’s not important at the moment where they come from.  Do this for at least a week… longer if you don’t interact with others often. 
  • When you’re ready take some time to Google the suggestions that you have received.  Perhap you have been told that you should be grateful for what you do have.  Search for the word “Gratitude.”  There are over 54 million results.  Scan through a page or two and read what they say being grateful does.  What can you glean from this advice that perhaps you didn’t want to hear from a particular person?
  • Take one single piece of advice from your research and act on it.  Do it repeatedly until it becomes a habit. 

Assess how you feel at the end of a week or a month.  You will find yourself in a better place. It’s a baby step… sure… but it is a step forward and into a lighter place.  With each step that you take, and embrace, you gain the confidence to take another.  It won’t be long unitl you are basking in the light of day and what was, is behind you.  What lies in front of you is yours to create… your way! 

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