Is Happiness Elusive?

So many folks tell me that they are “trying” to be happy or they are “trying” to change their ways.  Happiness keeps eluding them despite all of their efforts to “try.”  As long as we are “trying” nothing is going to happen.

Think about this.  If we are “trying” on clothes at store we are determining if they work for us.  “Trying” to change is the same thing.  We are checking out a new behavior to see if it will work for us.  While we may not be conscious of what we are doing the act of “trying” gives us an out if we don’t succeed. 

Trying is very different from doing. When you go forward to accomplish a goal you are determined to succeed.  When you try to accomplish a goal you’re hedging your bets in case you don’t.  

This may seem like a minor point however the way we set up success is through action.

Another example would be, “I’ll try and work on my book today.”  Compare that with, “I am writing a chapter in my book today.”  Thinking about doing it and doing it are very different processes.  When we “do” we accomplish.  When we “try” we don’t.

Here are a few Simple Steps to move you from “trying” to “doing:”

  • Write it down.  When we commit our goals to writing we turn them from a concept to something concrete.  A secondary benefit comes when we check them off our list as completed.  We see our progress and that feels good. 
  • Find a partner.  When two or more people are committed to a goal there are several benefits including accountability, sharing the responsibilities and celebrating the successes.  For example if you want to get into shape and walk daily having a friend to walk with makes a big difference.  You pull each other along on those days when you don’t feel like walking and you celebrate the milestones together.
  • Drop everything that is on your plate (that you reasonably can) and take action on your goal.  For example if you want to return to school but life seems to be getting in the way get into your car and drive to the school of your choice. Pick up course schedules, meet with a counselor, and sign up for a class. (Yes you can do this on line however going to where you want to be makes it more real sometimes.) 

It’s time to stop trying and start doing.  It may not be easy… but it is Simple!  Once you take that first Simple Step the momentum created inspires you to do even more… and that feels great! 

 

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