Getting Unstuck

I have a dear friend who has experienced a trauma in his marriage.  The scars that remain prevent him from being truly happy.   He stays out of duty to his family though I’m sure his children would be thrilled if he was happy.

Yet another friends is also unhappy in her marriage and yet she was raised to focus on the happiness of others.  If she ever had the strength to leave she’d experience guilt layered on by her mom.  Her parents divorced many years before when her dad had that strength to walk away from his misery.  Her dad would always be there for her.  He understands.  Yet she stays.

There is not a perfect marriage and “stuff” happens.  Jack & I have been through our share too.   It is up to each of us to decide if we want to weather the storm and persevere… or if the wounds are too deep…to take a step into the unknown…because what is there has to be better than were we are.

Regardless of the path that one chooses to take it is absolutely critical that we move forward.  When we stay stuck in the pain it becomes an crutch…an excuse…that justifies our misery.  Misery is a choice.  As long as it is the one that you choose you never experience happiness.

Do you remember when you fell in love with your spouse?  Wouldn’t you rather feel that way again?  The decision to be happy is an easy one.  The path to get there may not.  If you are to a point in your life where you realize that life is meant to be happy and you decide to make that journey try these Simple Steps to help you along the way:

  • Make your decision.  Realize that you need no one’s approval.  Whether it is your parents, friends or children that matter to you, it is not their life.  Deep in your soul you will know it is right for you.
  • Gather those that matter most to you and let them know what your decision is.  Let them know that you are not seeking their approval but rather their support.  If they love you and want you to be happy they will support you.
  • Give support to those that matter to you.  Let them know that you will always be there for them regardless of the path that you have chosen.
  • Move forward.  Your journey begins with that first step.

We’ll talk more over the next few weeks about dealing with challenges along the way.  For now give thanks for your ability to make decisions that are important to you. Know that you are strong and capable and whatever crosses your path you can deal with.

Most of all…choose happiness!

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