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Recognizing the Blessings

I was talking with a new friend yesterday and she made a comment about how calm and peaceful I am despite all I’ve been through.  There was a time I would have laughed at that thought.  In my prior life, prior to losing everything that I thought mattered and losing the only thing that mattered, Jack, I was the person no one really wanted to deal with. Since that conversation I’ve been thinking about all that has happened in these last few years.   Everything that I thought mattered, the stuff, the job, the financial security, have fallen into perspective.  Not one bit of it made me happier, at least not for long.  Instead I only wanted more.  More money, more responsibility, better, newer, faster things.  The latter of which would be replaced with the next latest greatest toy.  Since I don’t desire these things anymore I also lost the desire to compete for them too. I get excited today for another person’s success and I understand their drive. Some of us came here to have that experience.  When others are talking about their careers or desires the best thing for me to do is to silently bless them that they find what they need to. In doing so I become more calm and peaceful.  That’s how I am blessed too. Jack’s life and death have…