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Plunging or Leaping

When you seem to be continually beaten down in this life you face a dilemma.   What to do about it?  Do you plunge yourself deeper into the abyss of sadness and grief or do you take a leap of faith, moving forward with hope that today and tomorrow will be better? I’ve lived on the extremes of the pendulum just like so many others.  Perhaps the good days were fabulous but they were not long lived.  After awhile even in the good times I wait for the hammer to fall and hit me on the head, again.  In some ways I believed my life was doomed to be unhappy and unfilled. At the lowest points (yes there were many) it was easy to stay down.  I didn’t have the energy to get back up. I didn’t want to be bothered to make the day or my life better because after all I’d just fall again.  Hopelessness became the norm… and also my fear. When my husband was diagnosed first with leukemia and then cancer I did my best to keep him in a positive place.  Attitude is everything when you’re dealing with health issues.  For me though I was living my fear and his death was the final proof that my life would never be happy. It would be easy to sink deeper into my…