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How to Embrace Your Secrets to Promote Healing

I started piano lessons when I was seven years old. My parents allowed me to quit few years later, after I kept whining about not wanting to practice. What they didn’t know is that I had convinced myself that the keys were fire hot, and every time I touched them it felt like my fingertips were burning. I remember sitting on the piano bench in the living room all alone while my brothers and parents hung out together or were doing other things. I felt isolated and resentful, like I was being punished. I hated playing the piano at recitals more than anything. Getting dressed for a recital was like preparing to face a firing squad. I hated having everyone’s attention, even for five minutes. But the truth was, I didn’t want to face the vicious taunts of my inner monster if I played some wrong notes like the last time. In my mind, I kept replaying my embarrassment and humiliation until the piano keys felt like they burned. I didn’t realize until years later that if I had talked about how I felt, I might have worked through it. Perhaps if I would have exposed my monstrous inner critic and perfectionist early on, I might have enjoyed playing the piano. And, I may have experienced many other realities if I hadn’t kept so many…