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Redefine What Success Means to You

An old friend from high school reached out to me yesterday afternoon in anguish.  She and her husband of eighteen years split up fairly recently; the end of the relationship came as a shock to her, and she’s felt like she’s been in a tailspin for the past two months.  “If I see one more Facebook Spouse Challenge photo, I think I’ll vomit!” she said, through tears.  We spoke for a while, and eventually her tears dried.  By the end of the conversation, she was present to what matters most: she has a wonderful son from her marriage, and that made the whole marriage worthwhile, no matter how it ended.  She realized that she’d been defining the marriage on the split, rather than on the good it had brought with it.  When she looked at it that way, she realized that her marriage had, in fact, been a success.  “That realization blows my mind,” she said, before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. Have you ever reflected on your life and felt that your “success quotient” doesn’t quite add up as you’d hoped?  Have you ever thought that you should feel great because of all you’ve accomplished and all of the hard work you’ve put in, but instead you felt a twinge of dissatisfaction? Maybe you finally accomplished your big dream or a landmark goal…