Reflections – January 2018

Another year has come and gone and for me it’s the 3rd year I’m living this journey solo. We hear that time heals the wounds of grief.  Honestly I can’t say that I’ve seen it that way.  Time takes us further away from what originally caused our pain but until we are ready to heal we don’t.

I know that Jack wouldn’t want me to be living in the misery of being without him. But I’ve stay there because it was comfortable.  It defined me… in my eyes.  I was the grieving widow and how could I be anything more (or less.)  Someone looking at my life would probably have seen that as a sad way to live.

Every loop around the sun however has enabled me to see my life differently.  Its like walking through a fantastic museum and seeing something you never saw before even though it’s been there all along.  It’s not been a matter of changing my life as much as it’s been about accepting it for what it is.

I long ago accepted Jack’s death but not not my being alone. This last year though I came to not only accept my solo status but to appreciate it. That’s a major step for me but its taken nearly 3 years to get here. That’s healing.

We all grieve differently.  We need to take the time that is right for us to work through what has caused us pain.  As I reflect back on where I’ve been and see where I am now I realize the peace that has entered into my life… because I allowed myself the time I needed.

Are you willing to do the same for whatever you are going through?

 

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