Have you ever really been your own first priority? I know I put my needs a the bottom of the list of things to do. I could come up with every excuse in the book but I saw them as justified. I was taking care of Jack who had cancer or my mom who was blind and had dementia. Both of them have died and there is yet another day, another year of not taking care of myself.
There have been times since Jack passed that it occurred me to that in so many ways I’ve been silently killing myself. Before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusion I am not suicidal. What I am though is a person who hasn’t shifted my priorities to myself yet. How and what I eat, my lack of exercise and honestly my inability to leave my home once I am inside these doors do not support my health but rather hasten my demise.
Intellectually we realize what we are doing but aren’t motivated enough to break the destructive cycles in our lives. We think that we need to do something big or even radical to kick ourselves into gear. Yet it is that belief that keeps us spinning in a downward cycle.
How do you feel about you? Are you still putting everyone and everything else first and not feeling good about yourself? Or perhaps no one else is coming first but neither are you? When we live in this void we keep ourselves from experiencing the life we can here to live.
What if for just a moment we gave up caring about making progress? If we give ourselves the opportunity to be in this moment, without expectations, without judgments, perhaps we can breath. Perhaps we can think beyond what we don’t like and allow ourselves to just feel a moment of peace. And maybe tonight or tomorrow we can give ourselves 2 moments of peace. Then in the silence we can find clarity and see the step to take for ourselves.
Are you open to trying? Join me.
With love, Cheryl