Tomorrow we’ll experience a total eclipse of the sun in some parts of the United States. That got me thinking about the times in my life when my personal sun went out.
We know that a total solar eclipse happens rarely. And that is true for our lives too. I’ve had some dark experiences but my personal total eclipse came when my husband died. All the other dark days were associated with bad decisions and circumstances beyond my control. And as much as it pained me at the time those events came and went and honestly have resulted in a stronger, wiser state of me.
Jack dying is another story. The moments of darkness return frequently and I can’t explain the whys or the whens that will happen. They are powerful enough to thrust me into the black hole and it would be easy to stay there. But I don’t want to. Losing him however had not made me stronger or wiser… It’s only left me alone.
It’s easy to give up on your life and to lose hope when you’re exhausted. When you’ve been struggling or down for so long you don’t have the energy to even move towards the light. I still have those times.
The light is always there though even if we can’t see it. It comes down to wanting to believe its there or not. I know that when you’re in the darkest days of your life that looking at the light, just like looking at the eclipse, is something every fiber of your being is warning you not to do. You are safer in your darkness.
You need protection. You need to limit your exposure but that tiny glimpse will open up an entire new world to you. One where there is hope, and kindness and love.
Take it slow and easy… because that is what you need for you.