Reflections Valentines Day 2017

My husband and I never celebrated this holiday much.  Valentine’s Day wasn’t a day of flowers, chocolate & roses but rather a day we spent enjoying each others company.  We’d fix a nice dinner, take a walk, hold hands, laugh. Whatever called us we’d do.

For so many this is a day of loneliness because we’re not in a relationship.  In my case I don’t have any desire to be in a relationship.  The love of my life died.  I’m not interested in replacing Jack or substituting a companion to keep me from being alone.  I’d rather be alone.

Maybe for you the relationship ended and you know that was for the best.  You decided your own self worth is worth more than being part of a couple.  Or maybe you didn’t really have a choice but in the end you know you deserve to be happy.

I don’t feel like I’m missing out because there is no longer two of us.  I know what I had for 36+ years and that’s a blessing most people never experience.  I don’t feel less than because there aren’t two of us making dinner, walking, holding hands and laughing.  I feel blessed for having those experiences in this lifetime.

We can focus on what we don’t have, what we’ve lost or never found… or we can give thanks for what we experienced in this lifetime and for being the person we’ve become because of it.

We can be sad, and lonely, and miserable.  And I for one have been all of those especially since Jack died.

We can choose to find the joy, the happiness, the peace in what we can in our lives as they are at this moment.

I may be on this earth another day or another 30 years.  Whatever I choose determines whether I take advantage of every blessing this life gives me or I fritter my life way.

We can choose. You can, I can.  And on this Valentine’s Day I’m choosing to show myself the love I deserve and to see the holiday as a day to honor the blessings.

– With love, Cheryl

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