Is there anyone reading this who needs reminded of what didn’t work out the way you hoped it would? Do you really need to hear about your failed marriage, job or business venture? Is there any purpose in being told how hard your life must be because of something that changed your life?
I have wonderful friends and family who reached out over the holidays and most of those conversations started with, “I know it has to be an incredibly hard time of the year for you.” Each person had the best intentions however every time I was just reminded that Jack died and I was alone. Starting out a conversation that way set the tone and moved me further away from the light.
It’s been nearly two years since Jack passed and my life has changed irrevocably. That’s understandable. He was the love of my life and the light of my life for 36 years. My life didn’t end when he died rather it began to evolve in new ways. Of course I miss him and there are moments that are incredibly hard. Those however are personal moments that I don’t want to share.
The rest of my life I want and need to focus on what will bring joy into my life again. Every day I make choices that support what my life is, now. I choose to go to work and there I am around people who didn’t know me when Jack was alive. While they know he died they didn’t know me when he was alive and our conversations aren’t about all that I am missing they are about life, now. I choose new adventures and that helps me to live in this moment. I am choosing the now and more than anything I need to stay in this moment so that whatever life I have left is lived to the fullest. It’s my choice to live not merely exist.
In every challenge the opportunity exists to use it to support our happiness or we can allow it to hold us back. It’s a choice. Jack wouldn’t want me to wallow in my misery of being without him. If the situation was reversed and he was the one alone he’d fill his life with his photography, being in nature and capturing moments that inspired awe. I’m learning to do the same in my own way.
Remind yourself of all you can do now. Ask your friends and family to support your choices to move forward in your life. Honor your past for what it brought to your life. Honor yourself by living in your now.