Reflections – January 2017

On this first day of 2017 I’m reflecting back on what I learned in 2016.  The good, the bad and the indifferent all occurred to my benefit… at least that’s the way I choose to see it.

  • 2016 was the first year my husband, Jack, didn’t see.  When I started the year sadness hung over me like the pall of his death.  While it was hard on me it was the first year he was not suffering in.   He is healed, happy and remains a  loving presence in my life.
  • On this day a year ago my furnace went out in the freezing cold weather.  I still had electricity to run the gas fireplace & stove, hot water and fun. It was a new adventure that I learned I could handle alone.
  • In February I moved out of the “Year of Firsts” without Jack and realized I was out of excuses.  No longer was I going to have the milestone first experiences, first holidays, first anything alone.  What I realized was that I was OK.  Maybe I wasn’t as happy as I was when Jack was alive… but my life was, is, good.
  • In March after being proud of myself for installing new canned lights and switches in my kitchen without incident I was walking across my garage floor, fell, and broke my ankle.  Alone and without Jack to help me anymore I called on friends who showed up to help me.  I’d never had to ask for that kind of help before and was blessed and humbled by their willingness to be here for me.
  • May 5, 2016 would have been our 37th wedding anniversary.  As I looked back at our wedding vowels I realized they didn’t say “til death do us part” but rather “life eternal.”  The peace that brought me was life changing.
  • In August I was forced to move my mother into assisted living and then again in November into memory care. As her memory has declined rapidly I’ve realize this is her journey and mine is to be there to support her not to try to stop or change her journey in some way. That understanding was liberating for both of us.
  • In December I realized I was ready to live my life again instead of focusing on surviving without Jack. He would understand this and now I do too.

In 2017 I’m choosing to support my happiness and my health.  I’m taking the Simple Steps that shift my behavior from indulging in my sorrow to honoring the life I have been given.  That’s what I need for me.

What do you need for you this year? Whether you are ready for a big change, a new path or checking off items on your bucket list you get to make the choices that will support your happiness. Embrace what doesn’t work for what you learn from it, celebrate what did work for the joy of it and honor what is routine for the break it gives you.  Allow this to be the year you need it to be… for you.

With love, Cheryl

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