Reflections – September 2016

 “Something surreal is so strange
that you cannot believe it is real.”

I think that is how I would define these last 2 years for me.  Living through the worst life has to offer there are times that it feels like a bad dream I can’t wake up from.  Unfortunately I’m wide awake.
What do we do when the nightmare is our reality?  Off the top of my head I know I’ve cried, a lot.  I’ve buried by head in the covers and not wanted to surface, eaten my way through the stress and yes on occasion deadened the pain with more than one glass of wine.
None of those things helped.  All they did was keep me in a place that I didn’t want to stay… in the black hole of my grief and pain.  Still saying I didn’t want to be there and getting our of that place isn’t a switch that can be flipped.
Maybe there are just times when surreal is the best it can be.  What I’ve come to accept and be OK with is that “it is what it is.”  (Jack’s favorite phrase.) I don’t like it but fighting it serves no good purpose.
For now that best I can do is allow myself to accept the surrealism that is my life, to learn more about myself in the experience and to have faith that all is as it needs to be.
And therein lies hope, always.

With love, Cheryl

Cheryl shares her journey so others will know that they are not alone in their experiences.
She believes there is purpose in the journey… even in the most difficult of times.

2 thoughts on “Reflections – September 2016

  1. I understand. I graduated with my Psychology degree (after 40 years), went through a bitter divorce from an emotionally abusive man, my youngest daughter went with him, my other daughter moved out for college, my 10-year-old dog died, I broke out in shingles, broke a rib, and my sweet mother died-all within 3 months. It took a year for the grief to kick in. Forward, three years later, I feel numb and depressed. I feel alone and I miss my mom. Both my girls are in different states. I am 59-years-old. I wonder if I will ever come out of this.

  2. Have gone through similar experiences with the loss of my daughter but Reading about others experience really does not help me. Millions go through things like this everyday. Each have their own way and their own time trying to get through this struggle with ones self of And emptiness that has to be restored in some way to carry on.I personally enjoy reading uplifting things instead of things that remind me of where I have been. Thanks

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