When we go through the worst life has to offer that stress doesn’t stand alone. It alters our perception about even the most mundane of interactions and encounters. We’re in pain.
Unfortunately when we get to that point it’s easy to think that “everything” is going wrong. We consider even a well meaning comment to be an attack or at the very least inconsiderate. Feeling that way then makes us feel even worse.
When my job ended & my finances went down the drain I saw myself as unworthy and a failure. I saw criticism in every conversation even when there was none because I was coming from a point of pain.
Have you been there? Are you there now?
The simplest way I have found to deal with the pain is to learn how to compartmentalize those feelings. It’s not always an easy thing to do but then this isn’t easy steps. The consistent and concerted effort though changes everything.
My husband dying naturally has caused me great sorrow. Yesterday I attended an event at the place where Jack’s memorial service was held. I was overcome with sadness and felt tears welling up. I could have easily walked out the door however taking a moment to remind myself that this was a happy event and to focus on what was good enabled me to overcome that tendency to spiral downward.
I recently broke my ankle and the medical bills have started flowing in this week. I started to digress into the negativity I lived in way back when. As I could feel the panic starting to take hold I stopped and reminded myself that I’ve always figured it out before and right now I’m in a much better state than I use to be. I had to separate out those old feelings of lack from my life today. When I did that the panic stopped.
We make choices about how we will perceive every single thing that happens in our life. Yes there are times that we feel the crushing blow. There isn’t a switch we can flip and be cheerful when we’re hit with the worst life has to offer. We can however give ourselves time to process the experience and then decide how we will go forward. It’s our decision, a choice, and our life to live.
With love, Cheryl