What Will You Do For You?

When was the last time you ventured out on your own?  Do you go to a restaurant, even fast food, alone?  Are you willing to step out of your front door to walk around the block?  When was the last time you took a class, went to a movie or attended a seminar by yourself?  Ever?

When Jack was alive we did almost everything together so I had no need or interest in doing anything alone.  With all those years together I feel like the old dog learning a new trick and not really being a willing student.  As I sit here writing though I know in my heart that if I don’t make the effort to move outside of my zone of comfort my life will become a living death… over before it’s time.  For me that’s a waste of the life I’ve been given.

The longer we remain stagnant the harder it is to re-engage in life.  I don’t believe though that it takes a giant leap to keep us engaged in life.  So I walk around the block in my neighborhood.  In just that Simple Step I’ve met old friends, helped my ankle heal and earned an activity point with Weight Watchers.

Still there are things I never liked and won’t do.  I won’t go to a meeting alone that makes me feel lonely.  I’ve never been a big movie fan so going and sitting in a theater alone isn’t something I have any interest in doing.  Instead I work with a coach through Weight Watchers and pay for Netflix.

With just a Simple Step, a simple effort that is makes us feel good about ourselves, we begin to break through whatever stopped us. For me it was the death of my husband.  For others I’ve worked with it’s been a divorce, a job loss, being abandoned by family and friends.   We realize we are stronger than we though we are the minute we take that step.

One you take one it’s easier to take the next.

What are you willing to do for yourself right now?

With love, Cheryl

SSRL3d

3 thoughts on “What Will You Do For You?

  1. Cheryl, I’m so sorry for your loss. One of my Facebook friends shared this post, and I was compelled to read it and say hello to you. As a wife who is there, right now, mourning the loss of my husband who passed away last year, I can relate to what you are saying. It is really one small step at a time, then one day at a time. I have tried keeping myself busy and for the most part I’ve been able to do that to pass my days doing productive things so that I’m not spending them in profound sadness. But it still creeps up and washes me over like a wave some times. It’s overwhelming to realize the long future ahead of me without the person I was supposed to share it all with. It’s hard to think of what I need to do for me, but as you say, we need to think of even small things we can do to move forward and take good care of ourselves. My husband and I would have been married 30 years now and, like you, we were together most of the time. I looked forward to the rocking chairs on the porch in our old age, drinking tea and sharing memories. But we didn’t get there. So now I’m here, with one rocking chair and my memories. And despite what some of the hallmark verses say, the memories do not keep you warm at night, not the way a husband’s arms do. I hate bedtime the most. Thank you for sharing 🙂

    1. Oh Ann, I am so sorry for your loss too! When we lose the love of our life memories are wonderful and devastating. We realize what we’ve lost and that we will never realize those rocking chair dreams. I keep reminding myself that it was Jack’s time but I have more to do in this lifetime. It’s what keeps making me taking any step.
      I’m with you on trying to sleep…I find myself staying up til I’m exhausted and then sleep happens. Of course the next morning it’s hard getting up for work 🙁
      Thank you for writing Ann… We’re here to help each other in this life. Much love, Cheryl

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