Backpacker looks at beautiful view

I spent this week disconnected from my computer in memory… Monday marked a year since my husband Jack died. It’s been a very difficult and amazing year. The latter description comes only with acknowledgement that more has happened since Jack’s passing than me having to live without him. And after 36 years of marriage his death has profoundly changed my life.

If you have been through a tragedy or a major life change have you stopped to take notice of how far you’ve come? More than likely you have a new perspective that serves you better. Maybe it’s a recognition of how precious life is or an understanding that your choices have consequences. Perhaps you’ve come to the realization that you missed a few signs along your journey and now you’ll pay more attention to how you feel & what you think.

My closest friends, the ones who knew Jack & I together, tell me that Jack would be proud of how far I’ve come in this last year. And when I take the time to look back, in between my tears, I know that’s true.

It isn’t always easy to think clearly when your heart is broken or your life seems broken. If however you are willing to set aside the pain, if only for 5 minutes, you’ll give yourself a chance to appreciate what is good in your life… and that simple step gives you and me hope.

With love, Cheryl

2 thoughts on “Perspective

  1. Your words are comforting and so real. For 5 plus years now I have been fumbling through life trying to figure out how to know how to live since my husband forsook ministry. Though he is still with me it has brought great hardship into the home. I found myself trying to raise 3 kids with such a huge change and not knowing how to pick up the pieces and explain to the kids what to expect. In and out of different churches, changing denominations and seeing people I thought were there to help were really comfortable staying at a distance. No one has really had the answers I’m still searching for for my particular situation. as I continue to pray and seek the Lord I’m just waiting. Waiting to hear that familiar sound in the right words that will touch the most protected deepest part of me. So that I can rise again. Your words are a comfort to me. You speak from pain and experience to comfort. Thank you.

    1. Kelly, Thank you for your kind words. We all go through challenges in life. Your husband’s choice to give up his ministry meant that something wasn’t right for him. In this life we make compromises for our spouses but that is a 2 way street. Even with all of your resilience you are looking outside of yourself for answers that you may never get. I know there are so many unanswered questions in my life too. When I made the choice to not wait for answers but to live my life for what brings me happiness the pain subsided. It may never go away… I suspect you have 3 children who bring you joy but who also feel your stress. Kids are more intuitive than we acknowledge sometimes.
      Ask yourself what you can do right now that would bring joy into your life? Taking a walk with your children? Finding a job or a volunteer position that will expose you to something new? Forsaking something in your own life that is weighing you down? I encourage you to focus on what does make you feel better. It’s easy to focus on what isn’t working but it doesn’t help you. You need to do something to help you. In the process your children will be a witness to their mother’s love.
      I’m sending you both love and healing energy. Cheryl

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