Just when we think we have it all under control or at least manageable something happens and we fall back into our weakness, our sorrow, our not so good place. You see someone who doesn’t know about your job loss, divorce or that your husband has died… or they do and you just haven’t seem them since all that happened.
How do you keep from going back into the darkness when you know you don’t want to be there? It doesn’t even matter if the person is loving and supportive or judgmental and unkind it is the having to talk about it or facing it again that brings you down.
There was a time when I cared what people thought of me. I couldn’t cry because that would show weakness. I couldn’t appear “less than” because then I must be. Then I came to realize that it is those of us who are able to be vulnerable that have the most strength. We’re not afraid to be who we are. We’re not afraid. Yes… we may not like where we are but it’s not going to be like this forever. And no I wouldn’t have these moments with someone had a reason to distrust… However, there is great liberation in deciding to be who we are, naturally. That is a whole heck of a lot less work that trying to keep up appearances.
Like I said earlier… it took me a long time to get to this place. It is however what sets us free. How do you start? By being OK with being who you are with yourself. And it has to start with you… and me!