“As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
I’m enjoying the heck out of getting older. I enjoy it because life is getting simpler for me. I have gotten used to how my mind works. I accept the fact that I am practical and introspective. I know which foods agree with my system and which don’t. I know what clothes look best on me for my body type. I accept that I am a workhorse. I can identify how other people’s energy impacts me. I am happier when I accept others as they are. And, being uncomfortable by stretching my boundaries to express myself, embracing new things and considering new ideas don’t equal death anymore.
In other words, as a result of getting older, I feel as if I am a bit wiser.
As a result of becoming wiser, I am also becoming more and more foolish when it comes to the idea of love. I am more open about letting my love flow. I cry at weddings. I dance when someone hits the big jackpot on a game show. I cheer when someone explodes with happiness for whatever reason.
I love love. I love the idea of love. I love expressions of love. I love writing about love. I love exploring ways that we can receive more and more love. I can tell by their actions and demeanor when people feel loved.
Ever since I was a little girl I have believed that love is our essence. Because I believe that our essence is love, to show love, to express kindness, to be open, and laugh and play is our natural state. Just watch young children for a while and you will see plenty examples of it.
Recently I had a shift in perspective about love, and it hit me like a lightning bolt. It has to do with flow reversal.
I used to think that outward expressions of non-love where the ones that compromised me. For example, when I was little and someone would call me “fat” it hurt my feelings. To me, it meant that I wasn’t good enough, which meant that I was unlovable. It felt like something that was happening externally was bringing me down.
I have now come to realize that it’s actually the other way around. When someone called me fat, which qualified as a “non-preferred situation,” I shut off my innate feelings of love for and acceptance of that person.
In other words, I was blocking my own outward flow of love. Basically it feels like I was actually saying, “I feel pain because of something you said to me, therefore I will withhold my love from you,” or “You just did something that blocks my flow of love to you,” which is different than, “You hurt my feelings and you don’t like me in the way I thought you did, therefore I am unlovable.” Flow reversal.
I realized that, if my essence is love, my hurt didn’t stem from what someone else did to ME, my pain actually came from cutting off MY OWN flow of love TO THEM. I see that when I tried to punish other people, I was actually only punishing myself. And THAT is what impacts my own state of health and well-being.
I have come to understand that when I keep the love flowing, I am healthier and happier. When I focus on that idea, I feel liberated. I feel more in control of my overall well-being, and able to positively influence my physical, emotional and spiritual health.
As a result of this new way of thinking, when I’m not feeling up to par, I scan to see from whom I am withholding love and why. Many times it ends up being that I am withholding love from myself because of some unrealistic expectations I have.
In other words, now that my perspective is, “Please don’t do anything that prevents me from loving you the way I want to,” all I have to do is check in to see who or what hurt my feelings, or if I am holding on to unrealistic expectations. I can ask myself (and keeping my inner child in mind), “What happened and why did I shut down?”
Once I express my sadness, disappointment, anger, or hurt with understanding and acknowledgment, I find that I am refortified and my love starts flowing again.
If you are willing to explore this flow reversal, ask yourself:
“Where am I holding back my love, and why?”
“Where am I shrinking on the inside rather than blossoming?”
“Why am I grouchy right now?”
When you allow these questions to help you identify where you are blocked, release your emotions safely in order to give your love the green light to flow once again.
I invite you to reconnect with your deeper flow of loving others by loving yourself first. This is your secret. Allow yourself to be foolish! Check in to see where you are withholding love from yourself, and be willing to have a breakthrough. Ask yourself, “What happened?” and listen patiently, just as you would with a young child. View yourself with a kind word and gentle touch and invite in the healing.
It is time to restore your overall sense of well-being. You have a unique way of breathing fully. Laugh! Sing! Dance! Cry! They are cleansing and can help you reconnect with your optimism.
And, when you give your love a green light, you lift your vibration, boost your immune system and reconnect with your unique ability to shine.