Getting real with yourself
No one is listening, watching or a witness to this discussion. You don’t have to keep up appearances because no one is there to see what you’re about to do. There is no cell phone recording your words and in fact you don’t have to make a sound. The only thing you need to do is get real with yourself.
If you’re not honest with yourself then the only person getting hurt is you. And you don’t want to make your life hard, do you?
Answer these questions, honestly. If you don’t know the answer immediately then don’t answer at all. Give yourself time to think about it. There are no deadlines, target or expiration dates. This is your life and you get to move at your own pace. Though… if you’re truly being honest with yourself… you won’t dodge the questions.
The idea here is to determine if you’re ready and willing to change some aspect of your life that you’re not happy with. If your life is great and you don’t need to change anything then good for you! Celebrate that. Otherwise… let’s begin.
Question #1: How bad to you want it?
If you’re thinking about a change because you “should” or because someone else thinks you should do it then you’re not ready. If though you have a burning desire to stop drinking the Diet Coke, lose a few pounds, get your college degree or win the contract you’re off to a good start. That all consuming desire to fit into skinny jeans, get the big job or travel around the world propels you forward. It causes you to make decisions that support your goal rather than waylay it.
Question #2: Why do you want to change?
If you want to change because you’ll feel better about yourself then your motivation is in the right place. If you want to change to please your partner, parent or friend you have no vested interest in the outcome. Your happiness is paramount in this consideration. Only you can decide what is important enough to act on or not… and only you can decide if the results are what you want. Trying to change for someone else sets up an expectation that what you do will result in their happiness. And they may be happier for awhile. However if they are looking outside themselves for happiness then they will never be satisfied. If someone is unhappy because of you they will never be happy because of you… at least not for long. Happiness is a choice.
Question #3: How much are your willing to give up?
If you want to change a part of your life you have to give up something. You may need to give up instant gratification in order to save your money or resources for something bigger. Think of it as giving up your daily drink and putting that money into your savings. If you want a more positive relationship you may need to give up on the one that isn’t working for you any more. If you want to graduate with honors you may need to give up the nightly hour of TV to study. You may need to give up on someone else’s dream in order to make yours come true. Giving up something is only to allow something more or different into your life. And you want something different at this point in your life.
For those of you who think that you can’t be happy because it means someone else will not be happy… ask yourself this. Does that person’s life have more value than yours? I promise you that it does not. Remember that making a change in your life to support your own happiness isn’t the end of the world for anyone. If they are unhappy they too can choose to change.
Take responsibility for your own happiness… it is a change you will never regret!
With love, Cheryl