There is a certain thrill when you tell someone something shocking about someone else. There is a sense of power, of knowing something the other person doesn’t know. This “thrill” has been around for thousands of years. So why should we give it up now, why should we change?
There are a lot of reasons to learn to control the urge to gossip.
- How temporary is that “thrilling’ feeling and how soon is it followed by a feeling of guilt. What if it isn’t true? What if the person who is the object of the gossip finds out about your idle chatter? What if they are hurt by it? Our consciousness has evolved to a point that these subtle feelings can no longer be ignored. The discomfort they cause you WILL show up eventually, even if you aren’t totally aware of it. Even if you don’t LIKE the person you are talking about, the price you will pay will be in how YOU feel.
- Every word we speak has an energy to it. So when you are speaking bad words about someone, you are surrounding yourself with “bad energy.” Your vibration will shift down a notch and you will have less “glow” about you. It isn’t extreme, but why would you allow the downward shift, even if just a few degrees? At some point in your life, hasn’t someone said to you “You are just glowing today.” Think back about how you were feeling at that moment in time. Most of us cannot actually see people’s aura, but most of us have a subtle sense of when someone’s aura is expanded due to happiness, when they seem to be “glowing.”
- Other people who are developing an awareness about the down sides of gossip will move away from you. They may change the subject, find an excuse to leave the room, or just not return your next phone call. This would start to isolate you from people who are on their path to grow, to raise their vibration and the vibrations of those around them. Instead, you become a magnet to those who live in that field of emotional drama. THEY will return your phone calls and in fact feed you with MORE gossip about other people…knowing how much you love it!
- You become a more trusted advisor. I know people who I can trust with my deepest secrets, and other people who I KNOW can’t wait to get away from me so they can share my secret with everyone they know, elevating their feeling of power in the community. Not that you want to become counselor to the world, but there is a value in being “trustworthy.” I got caught in a gossip ring at a corporate job I had once and the CEO called me in to ask about it. I denied it at first, but then had to confess. I felt that I had dropped down a notch in his eyes. I felt he could no longer trust me as much as he had before this incident. To this day I am embarrassed by my behavior. It was a very maturing incident in my life.
- Master Yeshua (Jesus) said it was a bad thing to do. “Do unto other as you would have done unto yourself.” Many Master Teachers on the planet have said the same thing in their own words. No matter your religious or philosophical training, I’ll just bet you can find a similar statement. In fact, I challenge you to look for one and share it with us! If you find something, please send it to me and I will post in my next column.
For the next two weeks, observe yourself and your feelings if an opportunity for gossip comes up. It might be just as simple as a wisecrack about the way someone is dressed at the grocery store, or a really big story about someone you know. First, see if you can restrain yourself. See how that makes you feel. Then if you give in and do it, see how you feel about 15 minutes later.
These are very subtle energies and feelings, but they can be yet another turning point in your life…UP the path, not DOWN the path!
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And have a GREAT week!