If Everything Happens For A Reason

Fotolia_39644006_Subscription_Monthly_MEverything happens for a reason.  I don’t know if I use that phrase as a justification for what I’m going through or if I actually believe it.  There is comfort in it but when times are tough I just want to be angry.  Do you know the feeling?

We experience traumas and stress in our life that we quite frankly wouldn’t wish on our worse enemies.  Some we know we played a role in  (and others may have too).  Going into bankruptcy or foreclosure.  The breakup of a relationship.  A car accident.  Others we can’t fathom in our worst nightmares that we had any responsibility in causing.  Cancer, a loved one dying young, a act of violence.  Yet if we believe in a grander plan, a higher power, then we need to have faith that there is a reason for them occurring.

I was reading something the other day and the message that touched me deeply was a variation of “everything happens for a reason.”  It said that the life experiences we have transpire just as they were intended too. Hmmm…. all these years of regrets, anger, stress & struggles occurred as they were meant to.  If that is the case then all the churning over my past or worry about the future were and are wasted efforts.  If instead we allow each moment to unfold and be OK with it, regardless of what “it” is, we can find peace.  Can you find it with your life?

To think that Jack’s cancer, my job loss & reversal of fortune were and are experiences I came here to have causes me to pause.  With each of these I remind myself (gently) that this journey has a purpose and there is a reason for everything.  I don’t have to like it… and yes sometimes I hate it.  But in the end there is purpose. The choice is mine.  Spend my days here struggling and stressing or by allowing and being open to the wisdom of the journey.

No… it may not be easy but it is a simple choice.

What about you?  What will you choose?

19 thoughts on “If Everything Happens For A Reason

  1. Hi , i don’t knw if everything happens 4 good. I lost my husband a year back. One fine day I lost everything, life changed. It left me and my son in grief . I always prayed 2 God for protection and happiness of my family. Thanked God 4 giving me a loving husband and cute son. Ours was a small loving family. Where Jose worked in the office , I looked after our home , son and Jose. Cooked , cleaned, washed, saw 2 my son’s studies. Shopping etc. I always ask myself. God knw I loved Jose , I can’t live without him , then why did u take him Lord.my son and me weep every time , I don’t get any answers. I am still sad. My son is sad. Living each day tats all.

    1. Sheeba, I am sorry that you lost your husband. I can only imagine your grief and your son’s sadness over losing his Dad. Your son is your husband’s legacy that he has left with you. As you’re working through your grief remember to celebrate the joy of having your son and helping him grow. Nothing about losing a loved one is easy. I lost my dad a few years ago and he had always cared for my blind mother. What I discovered is that after Dad passed Mom became a fiercely independent person. She would never have known her strength… nor would I have know this person had Dad lived. That’s not to say that I’d have ever wished him to die. What I’ve come to realize that even in death there are miracles but we have to be open to see them. Right now you’re only seeing the sorry. Take a few minutes every day to see the joy in your life and be open to other blessings. They are there when you’re ready to see them. With love, Cheryl

  2. Heyy cheryl…!!! Thank you for this wonderful blog…I honestly started reading it on the first place….just because my inner conscious starts believing that ” everything happens for a reason” but somehow I am still not sure if I believe that…!!
    Liz never would have even imagined that wonderful married life would end this way…or any person suffering from a pain of loosing a job is going to get a higher post…etc…I understand that the reason or the results can b either positive or negative….
    But every time I try to understand this criteria….I happen to stuck at one question….and that is. .

    What about all those sufferings and false hopes or unawareness of the future…??
    One suffer so much at present all those pain…mood swings…and cut off with friends and family….and when the happy ending comes…There is no one to celebrate with…!!
    Or someone is soo much happy at a particular moment that he never dreams to have a sad ending….!!
    My perception is that one shud face the present…Without holding grudge of past…or consoling the future with “everything happens for a reason”…because you should have such a life…at which you can say that I have lived the very second of it….you build up your life with today’s act…so act this way that you construct a past without any grudge nd have a future where you require no consoling..

    Have faith in God and on yourself…

    Have a good life…!!

  3. I do believe in everything happens for a reason. Nothing we go through is a waste because we always learn and grow from every experience of our life. We always have choices to make our experiences negative or positive. 🙂

    1. Hi Gail! I believe that too… and even when sometimes we see the negative we always have the choice to see it differently. Awesome!!! Thank you. 🙂

  4. Hi, I do agree that everything happens for a reason, but its not always the reason we think it is. What I mean is this, during my childhood some terrible things happened to me. But, because they happened to me, they were able to stop them from happening to many others. So I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes I think we go through things, not for ourselves but because God needs our help to save someone else. I think things that happen to us touch many others we may never even realize.
    I do think God gives us free will to make our own choices but He also has said that he gives us strength to get through anything that comes. So I think He knew there would be times we didn’t like what was coming, wouldn’t have chosen it for ourselves but our choices conflict with someone elses choices. Either way I don’t believe He ever leaves us so when things are not the way I want them to be I still know He’s there.

    1. Sammie, What a wonderful perspective! I agree we may not always know the reason… or what we think we know has more behind it then first thought or even known in this lifetime. It is amazing how much strength we have that we never realized until being strong is all we could be. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

  5. I spent my youth beating myself up, guilt, the what if’s and so forth. Then one Day I handed every thing over to God, my co-pilot, and just let go. My old age is about peace and love, and eventually everyone will accept and love the new me as much as I do.

    1. Alecia, Good for you! The new you was there all along and I’m so glad you discovered you…and you have a fabulous co-pilot by your side at all times. Blessings! Cheryl

  6. True… I accept with your statement. The situation what I am undergoing matches. God is giving certain lessons. Break up, failure in profession, hard words spoken by dear ones, persons meeting at certain times. . All is for a reason. God knows to whom it is for.. happiness is also for reason only. Let us everything positive and face the challenge and move on.

    1. Thomas, Wise words. We came to experience all that life has to offer and for whatever the reason… we never however walk alone. With love, Cheryl

    2. Wow ..what you wrote is true ..God gives us that much pain or struggle in life ..which we can bear ..n everything happens for a gud reason ..God knows your pain n never leave you empty handed for your every prayers .. I always believe that what ever will happen in my life will be always gud .N what ever in future gonna be ..that also be gud ..Always remain optimistic in life .and all your sorrow n pain will vanish ..

      1. Jols, Thank you. It’s amazing when we believe as you so beautiful say… that we always have hope even through the most difficult times.

  7. My take on this topic. Thank you for yours.


    What I am thinking about today is the non-empirical “reason” everything happens….as if there is a master plan with an end result…either negative or positive of which we, the active participant, doesn’t have control over. That I am not so sure of. While I am faithful, to say that God makes everything happen to us to accomplish reason, stands outside of the gift of free will. Which subscribes that God loves us enough to leave us to our own devices. We are not mere puppets on strings but rather captains of our own ships, controllers of our own destinies and writers of our own stories. Albeit good or bad. This is the reason that for no good reason at all, Eve enjoyed an apple that day and talked Adam into a bite which cast them both out of their safe and lovely garden. So if not God, then who would be the secret writer of reason prior to any given thing that could happen to us, so that everything that happens has a reason. The answer is no one. This is why I do not believe everything happens for a reason. Some things just happen for no reason at all. But do we just leave it at that?


    1. Hi Jen, this is what I love about blogging… the sharing of our perspectives. I agree with you that we are not puppets and that we have free will. Love your thoughts on this. I find it interesting to contemplate that we came to this life to experience something and how that unfolds falls into what you call free will. Thank you for sharing! With love, Cheryl

  8. I grow weary of ‘everything happens for a reason’…’it is what it is’. When you experience a horrific loss (my beloved husband died almost a year ago)…those cliches’ seem trite and worthless. I know people are trying to comfort, they need to understand there is comfort in silence because, quite honestly, there’s NOTHING they can say that will comfort.

    What I have come to believe. Yes, every single moment in our lives has brought is to this moment. I believe that Eddie was brought into my life through fate…I never believed in soul mates, yet…there he was…he was the definition of soulmate. What he brought to my life and how he taught me were lessons that I needed to learn and would, very likely, never have learned without him. What I gave to him was unconditional love, peace, and happiness. We were love…our home was love. During the past year I have had to learn to remain the person Eddie knew I was…no doormat…no more need to please…but, me.

    I miss him more than words could say. We shouldn’t have been a match…he was a New York Jew (yeah…that attitude!) and I was a Minnesota Nice Norwegian Lutheran. gal. We had 11 years together, I wish there had been more, but…I guess that was all we got. I am so glad we never wasted any time together…I loved him…I still do.

    1. Liz, I understand! It takes time as they say but you never get over the death of someone who was your life… you celebrate the life you had together as you are doing. I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. He was blessed with your love and you with his. No one can ever take that away from you… even in death. Sending love & healing energy. Cheryl

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