Perspective by Choice

Every day before you get going do you remind yourself of what you are grateful for?  Or do you jump up and start your day and not give the blessings in your life a single thought? This week  I was sitting in the hospital as Jack had yet another surgery for tumors in this throat.

The last week has been a roller coaster ride as we waited to find out if this was nothing or something… or something devastating.  And we really don’t know the answer to that, yet.

No matter what we are going through in life… there could be worse things.  It doesn’t mean what we are going through is meaningless. It is not about comparing ourselves and our lives to others that may be worse off than we are.  What it is though may be the difference between merely surviving or actually thriving through the experience.   And that is a choice we make.

I could sit here and focus on this being Jack’s 3rd surgery in 3 years for cancer in his head and neck… and I could wonder if it was ever going to end… or if it was doing to end badly.  Being married to the love of my life for 34 years you’d probably understand if I was devastated by this latest development.  Instead however I’m grateful that the cancer has not metastasized in the other organs in his body.   That is reason to celebrate and what I’m choosing to do.  It doesn’t mean I’m ignoring the “reality” of his cancer… but focusing all that could go wrong doesn’t help us.

If you find yourself focusing on the worst that could happen or what you don’t want to happen in your life you’re making a choice to be unhappy… You’re making a choice to live in your misery.  Is that what you really want?  No?   If you want to get yourself out of that place try one of these Simple Steps:

  • List all the good things that could come out of what you are going through. Keep that list with you and look at it often.
  • If you’re so scared that you can’t see the good for the bad allow yourself to feel the pain.  Break down, cry, let it all out.  Because when you do that you’ll clean out some space in your heart & mind that has capacity to see what could go right.  Now make your list from the first Simple Step.

No… not everything in life is roses.  If however you give yourself the opportunity to think better of what is going on in your life you’ll discover that you are stronger than you think.  You can get up… you can move beyond surviving and discover a place where you thrive.  Give yourself the chance to.

With love, Cheryl

If you are going through divorce you might want to take a look at “Thriving After Divorce” a DailyOm Program collaboration by Marilyn Hough, LMFT and me. Thriving