If you are angry and have hit your limit then you need a little perspective. The time to fix a problem is long before you’re mad as hell. When you’re at your wit’s end… you’ve lost what you need to resolve the problem, positively.
We can’t do a thing about someone else’s attitude, their apparent lack of common sense or their seemingly uncaring words. We can however teach them what is acceptable to us and what isn’t. It’s about setting boundaries… and those are a powerful tool which reflect your self-respect.
Here’s a Simple Step to take at the exact moment you feel put upon (or put out):
- Take a deep breath. This gives you a few seconds to absorb what has been said or done and how it bothers you.
- Stop the conversation even if the other person is still talking and ask for a moment.
- Inform them of what they said and how you feel about it in a confident and calm manner.
- Tell them what you’d like to see them do or say differently.
Here’s an example, “I am sorry to interrupt but you just made a comment that I am uncomfortable with. You said that I couldn’t make a decision without your help. When you say that I feel like you don’t believe I am capable of managing my own life. While you may not agree with my choices they are mine to make and I would appreciate it if you would be more supportive.”
When you address your concerns as they happen then the anger and frustration don’t build up. Instead you can be happy instead and enjoying your life.
For more information in setting boundaries listen to the Simple Steps Real Change Radio show from August 27, 2012. You can find us on Itunes.