You’re a nice person. You look for the good in everyone (usually). You help out your family and friends as often as you can. Yet… you’re walking on eggshells with one of them. You don’t want to offend the person who is easily offended. You don’t want to upset someone who gets upset at the drop of a hat. Does this sound familiar?
I’m not talking about the person going through major trauma in their lives. That’s when a little extra kindness and care are so important. I’m talking about the person who no matter how hard you try is still going to be upset by something you did or said. These are the people who create a life of drama and you’re part of it. And you’re part of it because you just want to be nice.
You can’t make this person happy and you know that no matter what you do they’ll find a reason to be upset. If you find yourself in this situation it’s time to take a Simple Step for you:
- Have an open, honest and kind conversation. For example you may say something like, “I know that you are not happy right now and I don’t seem to be able to do or say anything that helps.” At this point they are either going to acknowledge that there is nothing you can do… or they are going to be offended (more.)
- If they acknowledge that you can’t do any more than what you have been doing then stop walking on eggshells. They need your kind honesty and friendship more than they need you to be a “yes” person.
- If they get offended then say something along the lines of, “No matter what I do or say you are upset. I am going to leave you alone so as not to cause you any additional grief.” They will respond with either some sarcastic comment about being abandoned… in which case walk away. Or they will thank you for understanding. Let them know that you are there when they are ready for you to be. While you’re away you can still let them know you’re there by sending a card, flowers or some other kindness.
Just because someone else’s life is miserable doesn’t mean you have to be their punching bag. Realize that there is a difference between someone going through a serious crisis and someone who is just caught up in drama of their own creation.
You can always be kind… and leave their drama behind!