I can’t even begin to tell you how many times my story has been told… by me. Lost the job, lost the career, lost everything financially, husband with cancer, dad dies leaving me to care for mom. I use to repeat my story to anyone who would listen. Do you find yourself repeating your story too? Have you discovered, as I did, that you’re actually getting tired of listening to yourself?
Sure, we tell our stories so others will understand what we’ve gone through. Whatever we went through is over. Every time however that we repeat it we relive it and cause our own pain. Sure we might receive a moment of sympathy… or empathy… but is that really worth the pain?
When you’re ready to move beyond your self-inflicted pain then it’s time to resist the temptation to repeat your story. Try these Simple Steps to change your tune:
- Own your experience. That doesn’t mean you’re responsible for it. It means that you acknowledge that you went through it. You do not have to share this with anyone. This is just for you. Examples might include, “My husband & I are divorced.” “I had surgery and chemotherapy for breast cancer.” “I lost my life savings and security.”
- Learn from it. What do you know now that you didn’t know before this happened? For example, “I will not trust my heart to someone who does not respect me as the person I am.” “I have survived this disease and have made my health my priority.” “I am investing in myself as a person, my family & friends because that’s what matters.”
- Create a more positive story. One that you are grateful and inspired by. Start it out with, “I’ve had my share of challenges but they are over. Now… ” Using our prior examples: “I enjoy life on my own and when/if I choose to share it with someone else I know that person will love and respect me.” “I am a breast cancer survivor and I’m dedicating my life to living healthy and strong.” “I have experienced all the abundance life has to offer and I choose to focus on what matters most… the people in my life.”
We are the culmination of our life experiences. Learn from them then leave them and the pain in your past. Celebrate them… and take the wisdom of them into your future. Because it sure feels better than the painful story you use to tell…