For a long time now I’ve been saying that whatever we’re going through is no more than a moment in time. If I looked into my past I could see that all the challenges and stress were fleeting… even if they seemed to go on forever.
Fast forward to a week ago on Monday. Jack & I sat in a doctor’s office listening to a resident who for some reason believed he had to put the “fear of god” into us. We went in expecting to hear about another relatively routine surgery and instead were blindsided by a massive surgery where Jack would lose his ear, possibly his jaw and different muscles would be reattached to give him function here and there. We were so shocked we were questioning the quality of life given what this young doctor was throwing at us… and we told him we’d have to think about it. He responded with this threat… “If you don’t have this surgery there is nothing else we can do for you and you will die.” We told him we’d let him know.
As we drove home in shock the thought came to me that this was “just a moment in time.” I found my own beliefs being tested and yes… I was scared. I refused however to allow the scare tactics of a doctor who loved to cut on patients to influence our decision. The experience was just an experience…
If you find yourself in the middle of a situation that is causing your fear to leap forward consider these Simple Steps to regain control:
- Consider the source. Does this person “gain” something by their words or deeds? If so realize that their pressure is to help themselves, not you. Whether it is someone selling a product or a doctor who has made is life about surgery… you are the one who makes the decisions to “buy” into what they are saying.
- Consider your options. When you’re in the middle of the stress you may feel like you don’t have any options… but you do. Someone “selling” to you is only one of many options or alternatives.
- Consider the costs and benefits. Taking an almost clinical view may not be the easiest step but if you look at the experience in terms of what you are going to gain or lose it helps to make a more balanced decision.
Everything that happens to you or for you in life is just a moment in time. When you keep your wits about you and look logically at the experience you’ll realize it all will work out as you need it to. And that is what matters.
Postscript: Jack did have surgery but it was not as radical as the young doctor described. The attending surgeon presented a more rational and balanced approach. Jack is recovering well.