We live in a world where everyone seems to have an opinion about what we should do, where we should go and what we should want. Those are the folks we need to thank for caring and gently remind them that we’ll do what is best for us… and if that doesn’t work out well… then we’ve learned.
What if however the person “shoulding” all over us is us? Do you find yourself feeling guitly because you should have known better… or that you shouldn’t have done or said something? All the time that we spend “shoulding” is time that we could be getting right with ourselves.
I wish that I had invented the world “shoulding” but I give credit to my friend Pam Thomas. She’s hosts The Attraction Factor on Empower Radio along with being a life coach extraordinaire. She has taken my awareness of the dreaded “shoulds” to a new level… and by seeing it for what it is… a waste of time and energy… I get right with me a whole lot quicker!
If you’re tired of the guilt hanging over your head… for whatever reason… try these Simple Steps that I use to quit “shoulding” and start enjoying life again:
- First equate the world should with what is is… crap. Ok…I know that isn’t gentile… but it is what it is. Use “garbage” if that works better for you. When I start to think of what I “should” do I make this connection and remind myself that I deserve to treat myself better. So do you! If nothing else this imagery will make you laugh… which is a nice step towards healing.
- Next, determine if you think this “should” matters. If calling your Mom matters then just pick up the phone right then and call. Take action and your “should” becomes a “did.”
- If you’re not sure if it matters or not then write out a list of all those things you think you should do. I am asking you to do this so you see your “shoulds” in a big pile. Now cross off anything on the list that really doesn’t matter or you don’t care about.
- Re-write your consolidated list. It’s probably down to a couple of items. Do them… or schedule them for a time when it works for you.
By banishing the “shoulds” and deciding to do what you want to do… you get right with you… your soul and your head. You can focus on what you want to do instead… And in the end that’s all that matters… everything else is, well, garbage.