Dealing With a Bad Day, Week, Month… More

Dealing with a bad day by

There are just some stretches in our lives where things just don’t go as we’d like them to.  Of course there are others where they all go our way.  What happens though when it doesn’t seem like you can catch a break yet all you want to do is stay positive?

I do my best to stay in a better place… and succeed most of the time.  After all… I write about focusing on the positive aspects of life. Stuff just happens.  Some is of our own creating and others is thrust upon us for a multitude of reasons.  None of us lives a “charmed” life.  We live our lives.  And the best that we can do is the best that we can do.

Here is a bit of how my last week progressed.  I was rushing around making the final changes on my book so that it could go to the publisher on Wednesday.  I was excited to hit “send” and put it into the hands of those ready to do their magic and turn it into a book.  The process is stressful… even if there is no one else contributing to the stress.  That night I managed to knock my wedding rings into a running garbage disposal.  It was not a pretty scene.  I was hoping beyond hope that the setting could be repaired… sure that the diamond was hard enough to be fine.  Well the setting couldn’t be fixed and on Saturday when I went to the jewelers, a 3 hour drive away, they gave me the news that the diamond had been sheered and it could not be reset.  I hit my stress limit and it was all I could do to control my tears.  My rings were the last “things” left after a brutal two years of financial devastation. 

I am telling you this so that you can see that even those of us who do our best to stay positive have times when we’re not where we want to be.  A few years ago I would have allowed myself to go to a very bad place… and stayed there for way too long. 

If you find yourself dealing with “Bad” try one of these Simple Steps to work your way back to better:

  • If your loss involves some “thing” remember that things can be replaced.  It is not the end of the world, especially if it has to deal with things, jobs or plans. It didn’t happen for a reason.  There is a better way to go.  You may just not know what it is… and… it may just be the opening that you need to create what you want more. Focus on the new door opening up.
  • If it’s anything to do with other people… then it is important to give yourself time to work through the feelings that go with it.   Whether it is a death, a relationship ending, or family stress (to mention just a few) what you are going through is a major change and doing nothing is absolutely fine.  When you give yourself time to work though your emotions you are better able to deal with what you have to, with your new reality,  with a clearer mind.  There is no time limit on grieving… whether it is a death or a relationship ending… no one gets to tell you when you should “get over it.”  Don’t put any pressure on yourself either.  When you’re ready you’ll move forward.  For now… just be.
  • If you are dealing with scary diagnoses and illnesses the uncertainly can be debilitating.  We tend focus on the worst case scenario.   When my husband Jack was diagnosed with leukemia I fixated on life without him.  That is a natural reaction but the truth is that it was premature and based on a lack of information.  When I finally educated myself I realized that his disease was a chronic condition and not likely to cause his death.  By the time he was diagnosed with cancer 3 years later I went directly to seeking answers… and avoided the total panic phase.  Sure I was worried.  But this time, I choose to focus on the likelihood that he could be cured rather than on the very unlikely thought that he couldn’t. When you focus on getting answers and arming yourself with the options you feel more in control and that makes all the difference.

Life is filled with ups and downs… When you smooth out some of the extremes by adding a little time and perspective you realize that you can deal with whatever comes your way.  That’s a powerful place to put yourself and it sure feels much better than were you started from!

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