Dealing with Others When You’re Starting Over

Dealing With Others by

Think of a time when a relationship ended, you lost a job or that time when it seemed like you lost it all.  Well meaning friends didn’t know what to say… so they stayed away.  Still others came around with the “I told you so” look or even took the opportunity to gloat.  Even when you deal with what is going on in your life just fine there are others who seem to find a way to get under your skin… intentionally or not. 

I’m starting over in so many ways…  What was suppose to be my retirement years is instead a blank slate.  Most days it is the most fun that I’ve every had… and then there are times when I run right into someone who feels differently. 

When you run into the person who wants to tell you how great their life is… or show you how bad yours is try one of these Simple Steps:

  • No matter where you are go to that place where you believe that the other person is well intentioned.  That may not be the easiest thing to do however if you assume the best you can find it.
  • If the person doesn’t know what your situation is, yet their gloating is getting to you, keep in mind that people who have to tell everyone about what they do or have are really trying to validate themselves.  It’s more about them than it is about you.  You don’t need validation…  You have been through the worst and are moving forward positively!
  • If the person does know and seems to keep harping on you then stop the conversation.  Try this approach and say to them, “I know that you mean well but right now I need to surround myself with people who will be sensitive to my situation and support me.  This isn’t helping right now.”  If they continue along with the original conversation walk away.  Tell them that you need to get to a better place and it’s not in this conversation.

Wherever you are is a new beginning.  Focus on the possibilities of having the life that you choose not the life that doesn’t suit you any longer.  It may not always be easy… but it is about focusing on what makes you happy.  Everyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.  When you realize that then the positive changes in your life multiply… and that does feel good!

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