When Your Decisions Impact Others

When Your Decisions Impact Others by SimpleStepsRealChange.com

We all make choices in life that are best for us.  Sometimes though what we decide effects another person and they may not like our choice.  You’ve probably been on the other side of the fence… where a friend or loved one makes a decision that you have to live with… and you aren’t happy about it.  But what can you do?

It’s true that we all live our own lives and our choices are ours to own.  Try as we might to be kind there are just some decisions that are going to be hard on others.  If you truly care about the other person then you will want to be kind even though you are committed to your decision.  

When you need to have a difficult discussion try these Simple Steps to deliver your message:

  • If at all possible have the conversation in person.  While you may dread the interaction you have a better chance of controlling the interpretation when you are face to face.  A phone call would be the next best option. Avoid posting it on Facebook, Twitter or sending a text message.  Think of how you would feel if someone you loved choose a social media site or text to break up with you.
  • Prepare.  You have a good idea of what the reaction is going to be to your news.  What are the key arguments that you need to be able to respond to? For example if you have accepted a job in another state and your entire family as always lived in the same town be ready to talk about why you are accepting the job and what your plans are to visit, call and skype in order to stay in touch.  Acknowledge that it isn’t the same as being there but that you are committed to doing the next best thing. 
  • Listen.  You may realize that their concerns are not what you thought that they would be.  Answer their questions as best as you can and ask them what they would need from you to make this more comfortable for them.  Short of changing your decision, if you can do what they are asking, do so.  This is about showing kindness. It still might take time for them to adapt but they will remember how you made them feel long after you move forward with your life.

In the end you need to live your life as you choose.  It may not be easy to deliver your news… however you’ll find it easier to do so when you show the kindness and respect that you’d want to have given to you.   And in doing so you’ll move forward knowing that you handled it the best that you possibly could have.

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