I believe in the goodness of others. It is a principle that I live by these days. In the past I’ve been called a “pollyanna.” I believe that people want to do the right thing. No one shows up to fail although sometimes how they act might not be consistent with my thoughts about what is right or good. That however is a matter of perspective.
There are however exceptions to every rule. Deep down inside I believe that we all have instincts that, if we listen to them, protect us from those who are the exceptions.
Here’s a couple of examples. Jack & I are downsizing so I’m listing furniture for sale on Craiglist. Today I had someone say that they were going to send me a certified check for twice the amount I was asking if I’d please just cash it and she’d make arrangements for a mover to pick it up. And oh by the way she is deaf so she can’t speak and her special phone equipment is broken. I guess if I was desperately in need of money or swayed by her alleged limitations I might have seen this differently. My gut however said, “Delete!”
We’ve all had situations in our lives where we want to believe but our instincts are waving big red flags. I have a friend who volunteered to help me with our website. She’s an expert so I really needed her help. My gut however told me that she didn’t have time and not to go down that path. I did. It was not pretty. I should have listened to myself.
We want to believe… but something gnaws away at us. Whether it is a stranger, family member or friend that we are having doubts about, it is up to us to decide whether we can live with those doubts or not. If however we deal with the issues up front it could save us major grief later.
Here are a couple of Simple Steps to try when your senses are heightened:
- Gather facts from independent sources. For example if you are thinking of purchasing a used car for the first time order up a “Car Fax” report or take the car to a mechanic before making a decision. Conduct on line research through reputable organizations such as Consumer Reports.”
- If your angst involves a person then move slowly. There is a fine line between trust and doubt. If your concern reaches a level where you are following someone to see what they are really doing then you will never trust them. That may be their doing or yours but either way it is not a good thing for either of you. If you just aren’t sure then going slow helps you both build a strong relationship. A big key here is open communication. If you have questions or doubts get them out in the open and move forward one way or another.
- Have a Conversation with You. This is one of the Simple Steps from our book. You can download it for free. This involves learning to listen to the messages your soul provides.
Believing in the goodness of others means that you look at every situation with love. If however you have doubts even as you look with kindness then don’t ignore them. Your instincts never lead you wrong and when you actually listen to yourself it feels good!