What to Do When There Is Nothing You Can Do

I have a close relative that only talks to me when she wants something.  Beyond that I’m something that she prefers to walk over. It use to bother me when she couldn’t even show up for an important family gathering.  There was always an excuse and usually a last minute one.  

Try as I might… there is nothing that I can do about her attitude.  I can’t force her to love me anymore than I can get her to show up. 

I have a similar situation with a dear friend that I worked with years ago.  She wrote me out of her life then one day out of the blue wrote to say that she wanted my forgiveness.  Then she disappeared out of my life again.

Do you have family or friends who don’t want you in their lives…or seem to want to make your life miserable?  Do you feel like you are being punished and not given a chance?  If you have been trying to change the situation and have hit a brick wall… it’s time to give yourself a break. 

If you are tired of hitting your head against the wall then try these Simple Steps to get control of your life:

  • Realize that you can’t force anyone to love you or like you.  You can only change you.  When you accept that it makes the rest of the steps easier.
  • Next, STOP!  Whatever you have been doing to convince someone to change, stop it  Quit trying to swim upstream.  “Let go and let God” if you are a believer.  When you stop every effort to change this person’s mind then two things happen.  First, a big weight comes off of your shoulders because you aren’t wasting your energy on someone who doesn’t care.  Two, the other person is going to notice when all of a sudden you aren’t pursuing their attention. 
  • Now keep in mind that any decision this person has made to keep you out of their life is their choice.  That however doesn’t mean that they can’t change their mind in the future.  No decision is ever final.  If they do however have a change of heart then you will be the one to decide if you want to have them in yours.  You are now in control of your life.
  • Finally…move on with your life.  Use the time that you are not spending on this person to improve your own life.  Focus on activities that enhance your self-esteem and confidence.  It’s time to strengthen you to the core. 

I won’t tell you that any of this is easy. It is important for your happiness.  When you reach the point where your happiness is achieved internally you’ll be able to deal with anything that crosses your path…and that feels good. 

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