Last week we were working on pulling ourselves out from under the covers…or out of the black hole that has been sucking the life out of us. Let’s take the opportunity this week to focus on fostering our own self respect. When you appreciate and indeed value yourself there is less of a chance that the back sliding occurs. So how do we do that?
One of the very first myths that we need to remove from our lives is any believe that someone else’s opinion about ourselves matters more than our own. It does not!
How we feel about ourselves directly relates to our happiness, commitment to our goals, when completely positive, guarantees our success. Think back to any point in your life when you felt the most in control & happy. You were 100% responsible for those feelings.
Now wait…I hear a “yea but” coming from you. If you have been searching for a job or a relationship and have been passed by it may feel like you aren’t worthy especially if you have been searching for a long time. I know, I get it. I’ve been looking for work with 15 months and have had my share of “not a right fit” or “we have had lots of candidates with better qualifications.” It is easy to get down after the 100th rejection. Remember what Thomas Edison said,
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
What have you learned from your attempts? Is the next “light bulb” in your life one more effort away?
Remember that making a consistent effort is the key. There is nothing about changing your life that is once and done….there is no magic pill and certainly no way to delegate the task to someone else. When you are ready try one of these Simple Steps to launch yourself forward:
- Ask yourself if you are absolutely confident that you have done everything that you can to succeed. (See ” Steps… Real Change, the Book.” Simple Step #2 “Have A Conversation with You.”) When you are sure that you have made your very best effort your self respect is solid. If you aren’t sure that you’ve done all that you can then what is missing? Fill in your gaps.
- Quit second guessing yourself. Rather than doubting yourself when something doesn’t work look for the lesson to be learned from it. What do you know now that you didn’t know before? How can you implement this new lesson in your approach?
- Wipe out the negativity in your self-talk. Take a look at Simple Step # 7 “Just Say NO!” Work on changing your self-talk to be self-respecting talk.
You have everything that you need to restore your life. Come out of the dark and embrace the light through respecting yourself.
For they conquer who believe that they can. – John Dryden