Regrets & Lessons

I love our Facebook Community!  We have hundreds of friends any number of which pop in and out on any given day and share their lives with us.  This week we’ve been talking about moving forward in the direction of our happiness.  A common theme has been regrets in our lives.  Some scars are deep…others recent and open wounds.  I consider mine as I do the lines of my face.  Each one came from the life that I’ve lived and I wouldn’t be the person that I am had I not experienced what I have.  Would I be in a different place in my life had I skipped the drama and/or nightmares.  Absolutely!  But who is to say that I’d be any happier!

Here are a few examples of regrets from our Facebook Friends. The names of been changed for privacy reasons.  If you can relate to their stories say so…everyone needs to know that they are not alone.

  • Ella married a good man and their marriage is solid.  Long before she met her husband she was in love with Bill. He was however married and off limits.  They have stayed in touch over the years.  He pops in and out of her life.  Their relationship has been intense, volatile, superficial and at times amazingly strong.  A one point when Bill was single she thought about what it would be like if they were together.  Life however got in the way & Bill remarried. 
    • Regret:  Ella lives with the regret of never telling him how much she loved him.   
    • Lessons Learned: She who hesitates has lost.  In that loss however there is strength to say what she needs to say…and not wait until the right moment.     
  • Jason & Janet have been married for 25 years.  They never had children and played fast & loose with their financial future.  Six figure salaries and big jobs created a false sense of security and when the industry they worked in crashed they were out of work, with no real savings and big debt to go with their lifestyle.  Jason’s back to work but they still can’t pay their bills and they have filed for bankruptcy. 
    • Regret: They regret not planning for emergencies and spending money on things that now seem so frivolous.
    • Lessons Learned: Things don’t matter. Security is more important to them than having the latest, greatest & best stuff.  They have “survived” this financial nightmare…and they know now that they can handle anything that comes their way. 
  • Kylie left home young and never went back.  She married, had children, divorced, remarried, had more children…all of which have left the nest leaving her alone.  She never had much of a relationship with her parents or siblings…and as she ages she realizes what she has missed.  Her Mom dies suddenly and before she can make amends.
    • Regret: Kylie regrets that she was too late to be there for her Mother.
    • Lessons Learned: You don’t always get a second chance.  Being right isn’t as important as being happy & loved.  
  • Ginny married a traditional man who believed that women raised children and did not work outside the home.  When she was young she was grateful for the time to dedicate to her family.   Although she had graduated from college she never held a paying job.  After 20 years of marriage her husband announced out of the blue that he wanted a divorce.  Her children were out on their own and she was left alone.  She went from a comfortable life to one where she didn’t know how she was going to pay any bills…let alone find a job at her age with no experience. 
    • Regrets: She regrets not seeing the signs that her marriages was in trouble….but even more she regrets being out of the workforce. 
    • Lessons Learned: Show up for life.  Don’t watch as live evolves around you.  Be “all in” or you could end up being “all out.”   Life doesn’t require that you have only one responsibility.  You can balance multiple responsibilities. 

If you have regrets…I hope that you have learned the lessons that go with them.  If you are going through trials in your life right now realize that there are lessons waiting for you to learn.  Each lesson prepares you for the next part of your journey…and each lesson paves a smoother path for you to travel.    

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