Focusing on the positive is a key to this belief and there are three Simple Steps to help you refocus your thoughts. Here is the first one.
If you tend to be more artistic and creative try Simple Step #3, the “Imagination” option.
Simple Step #3 Imagination
Have you ever been a people watcher and created stories about them? Do you have a great imagination and enjoy making up stories? If you have ever had a dream, a fantasy, then this Simple Step will speak to you.
When faced with a challenging situation or person try this Simple Step:
1) Take a “break.” If you can walk away or leave the room, do so. If not change your position or even close your eyes if you can.
2) Create a story in your mind about the person that enables you to relate to them better.
3) Take the person that you have created and interject them into your situation.
Here are a couple of examples that might help you:
- You are on a first date and are eating at a new restaurant. The waitress is overly friendly and you are not having the quality time with your date that you want. Excuse yourself and head to the rest room for a few minutes. As you walk away imagine that the waitress is actually working a second job. During the day she teaches handicapped children. She enjoys that work because she loves helping others and drawing them out of their shells. She is naturally a happy and social person. When you return to your table you are no longer annoyed but sympathetic. With this change in perspective you are able to relax and enjoy your date. When your waitress returns you actually engage her in your conversation and let her know that you are on your first date together and getting to know each other. Now she sees you from a different perspective and gives you the privacy you want.
- David is your boss and in a meeting he’s being demanding and bit more unreasonable than normal. You can tell that he is agitated but you don’t like his attitude. At the right time you ask to take a break. As you walk to the break area you realize that there must be something going on that is causing David act out today. Imagine that David has seen a report that the department was falling short on their goals for the month. He knows that if they don’t make their goal that he won’t be able to give the team pay raises and bonuses. You see David now as your advocate and coach.
Your new perspective enables you to humanize your boss. Rather than being annoyed at him you see him as your partner. As the meeting resumes you ask that the group take a few minutes to review the current status and what is required in order to meet the goals. Solicit ideas on how to refocus the teams to accomplish their goals. While you have seen David from a better perspective he sees you as a leader among the team. David is then able to settle down and becomes more reasonable.
When you take the time to see the goodness in others not only do you find it but you also find more in yourself.
Tomorrow we’ll look at Simple Step #4 “Seek Knowledge.”